QUESTIONS DOGS ASK GOD:

Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God:
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God:
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I  know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God:
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God:
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?

Dear God:
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God:
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can’t make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?

(Unfortunately I don’t know who to credit for these gems - they were passed along to me with no author cited.)

A Tribute to Shaman

Shaman, my beloved friend and soul-mate, your passing from the earth has left a huge hole in my heart; a heart that you helped to grow. Your love was so great; I am not sure how I am going to fill this hole in my being. You brought so much light and joy to the human race – your giving was impeccable, you existed so others may live with more wholeness and balance. You embodied the three components to happiness and fulfillment: will, love and wisdom. Your will was strong. Your confidence, stubbornness and drive gave you many opportunities to explore the world. Your unconditional love and compassion brought joy and hope to so many people young and old. Your wisdom and insight into people and other dogs was extraordinary knowing when and what they needed the most.

You were the grand dam of our household until your last day. You were alpha with kindness and style and were always reasonable. You were my teacher, the silent warrior who taught me so much about life. There are so many other things to say about you: your total trust of me, your willingness to try anything as long as it was with me, your love of travel and meeting new people. You brought me out of my reclusive shell and inspired my own heart to shine. Your great love for playing, wrestling, and tugging and fetching your pink football. Your EED (eternal eating disorder) was always a challenge to keep you fit but I sure did love to feed you and you sure loved to eat. I will especially miss our acupressure sessions where I would rub your spine and stretch your legs.

I believe that our spirits are eternal and that we come back again and again to join in the dance of matter and spirit. I know we have been friends before and I want to be your “best friend ever” again. Please come back to me. I will cherish our memories and keep remembering that you are always with me, no matter what form that takes. I love you and always will.

Goodbye my dear friend until next time…may you forever eat, play and love.

- Kathy, January 2008

Shaman’s Song

Shaman my friend, my reflection
She senses on four legs what I cannot
She finds reasons to love, in the smallest ways
She finds reasons to love, in the greatest way.

And her knowing is simple and deep
And her knowing is simple and deep

She has no conditions save for me
Her heart is pure and her mind is clean
And I wish I could sow what she reaps.

What if more two leggeds were like her?
Think of what the world could be

What if more two leggeds were like my four legged friend?
The world would be better in the end
Yes the world would be better in the end.

Shaman my friend, my reflection
She senses on four legs what I cannot
She finds reasons to love, in the smallest ways
She finds reasons to love, in the greatest way.
Shaman, my friend.

Written June 2008 @ By Kathy Marshall

But in a spirit of generosity, I offer these links for people with a different kind of relationship with their dogs. Or for people like me who just find the whole thing amusing:

Glamour Dog http://www.glamourdog.com/

Trendy Puppy http://www.trendypuppy.com/

The Pampered Pet http://www.thepamperedpup.com/

Doggie Designer http://www.doggiedesigner.com/

Poochie Heaven http://www.poochieheaven.com/index.php

In a quest to discover the 2008 election’s version of “Soccer Moms” and “NASCAR Dads,” NPR contributor Mo Rocca recently took his microphone to the streets of Philadelphia, the city of Founding Father Benjamin Franklin — as well as underdog hero Rocky Balboa.

Rocca talks with Michele Norris about what he found, and we hear from a number of people in potentially desirable demographics.

In addition to a liberty lover and a bike-riding grandmother, Rocca spoke to two other Philadelphians: Trekkie Randy Randalls and dogwalker Charlotte Fairman, as well as hockey nut Steve Solvarian of Vorhees, N.J.

Rocca caught up with Randalls on a city sidewalk, where the two discussed the upcoming race and its potential impact on Philadelphia.

“You’re a moderate Trekkie?” Rocca asked.

“Exactly.”

That brought this follow-up: “Now, what issues are important to moderate Trekkies?”

And this rejoinder: “Uh, getting out of Iraq, and health care.”

***
The piece continues. Could we dog walkers become an effective voting block? What would our issues be? Which candidates would court us? And would they kiss our adorable pooches?

Listen to the whole segment at:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=15337090

Kate
www.marshallbooks.net

According to S. Coren, author of “The Intelligence of Dogs”, there are three types of dog intelligence:

Adaptive Intelligence (learning and problem-solving ability). This is specific to the individual animal and is measured by canine IQ tests.
Instinctive Intelligence. This is specific to the individual animal and is measured by canine IQ tests.
Working/Obedience Intelligence. This is breed dependent.

*****
How they tested:
To find the smartest breeds, scientists tested each breed based on learning a series of new commands. Breeds were then ranked according to how many repetitions it took for them to understand and obey the first command.

TOP 10 SMARTEST BREEDS for Obedience/Working

1 Border Collie (No surprise here, even as a biased BC owner!)
2 Poodle
3 German Shepherd
4 Golden Retriever
5 Doberman Pinscher (I admit surprise here.)
6 Shetland Sheepdog
7 Labrador Retriever (The lab I raised was clearly not in the test group.)
8 Papillon (Yes, really! These are awesome little agility dogs.)
9 Rottweiler
10 Australian Cattle Dog

Breeds in the Top 10-
Understand New Commands: Less than 5 repetitions.
Obey First Command: 95% of the time or better.

10 DUMBEST BREEDS for Obedience/Working(but they’re awfully cute!)

70 Shih Tzu (they get fed fresh pate every day and you call them dumb?!)
71 Basset Hound
72 Mastiff/Beagle (I guess a tie)
73 Pekingese (probably their hair was just in their eyes)
74 Bloodhound
75 Borzoi
76 Chow Chow
77 Bulldog (maybe they dribbled on their test results)
78 Basenji (points off for not speaking up?)
79 Afghan Hound (yes, but they get the Best Hair award)

Breeds in the Bottom 10-
Understand New Commands: 80 to 100 repetitions or more.
Obey First Command: 25% of the time or worse.

“Emergency survival kit for pets should include at least three days of food in an airtight container…at least seven days’ supply of water…enough pet medications for three days…a copy of your pet’s medical records in a plastic bag…several collars and leashes, in case one breaks or slips off…a blanket…bandages, medical tape, antibiotic ointment, scissors, alcohol and a book on pet first aid…a familiar object to help your pet stay calm…a portable litter box and litter for cats. To be sure perishable items are fresh, change them every two months.

Recommendations by The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 424 E. 92 St., New York City 10128″

Okay, got all that?

“Create a living trust for your pet so its care is funded when you are gone. Only about half the states enforce pet trusts, but even if a trust is not enforceable, it can indicate your wishes. Bequeath only as much as pet care usually costs - no more - to avoid challenges from relatives. On average, dog care costs $780 to $1,500/yr. Cat care averages $640/yr. You can arrange yearly payments to your pet’s guardian for the remainder of your pet’s life. The Humane Society of the United States offers a free estate-planning kit at www.hsus.org

Martin Shenkman, CPA, attorney, Teaneck, New Jersey. www.laweasy.com”

I guess Leona Helmsley didn’t read the part about bequeathing only as much as pet care usually costs.

By CONNIE BLOOM

AKRON BEACON-JOURNAL

AKRON, Ohio — Donna Skoda was wounded deeply when her darling pug, Emma, died two years ago. Emma was 11 years old and already gray when Skoda scooped her up and brought her home to Richfield, Ohio, to live out the rest of her years in luxury.

Skoda likes to do that. Pugs touch something deep within her, so she has made it her mission to save as many as she can.

“I have a houseful of old pugs,” she said joyfully.

One of them, Bambita Pekita Meskita Chiquita Juanita the Salsa Dancer from San Antonio, was a toothless stray she found on Mull Avenue. Her missing teeth left her tongue dangling out of her mouth. It was a look all the other pugs tried to copy.

But do as old dogs will, Bambita eventually went to eternity, as Emma would, and Skoda’s sense of loss for each was overwhelming.

“Emma died three years later of bladder cancer,” she said. “My husband and I were so taken aback. We were devastated.”

She knew her animal-loving neighbors, Chris and Kirk Raymond, would empathize, but they went one better.

“Chris and Kirk made me a little card, a picture of Emma with a halo over her head,” she said. It made her cry, and ultimately gave her a sense of relief, as if her precious pet was in a safe and lovely place.

Kirk Raymond created another card with Jesus holding Bambita in his arms.

“Kirk made it from a stock picture of Jesus in Photoshop,” said Skoda, who was moved by his generosity of spirit. “It becomes art. It’s very comforting.”

Raymond, who works at Diebold by day, is a Photoshop enthusiast who’s learning as he goes but knew he was onto something. He rolled out a Web site to offer his services to others at http://www.pettributecreations.com.

He has become skilled enough to carve a pet’s image out of an old photo and splice it into a new background while making the pose seem natural, Skoda said. She has joined the part-time business and does the framing and printing.

They work from whatever photos the pet owner happens to have. A cat Raymond put in the arms of Jesus was actually climbing over the living room couch in the original photo. Jesus had been holding a lamb.

The finished piece becomes a memorial, a tribute that will elicit stinging tears for years. For one customer, they posed a photo of a horse in radiant light with a halo overhead.

“They cry when you give it to them,” Skoda said.

Prices start at $20 for a 4-by-6-inch picture in a small, single frame and go up from there. The maximum size for the picture is 8 by 10 inches, which can be matted and framed much larger. Some people want the picture in the left half of a double frame, with a poem or other writing in the facing frame.

The Raymonds say they’ll never get rich this way they’ve made only 15 or 20 pieces so far but their mission is to comfort the grieving as well as share their faith.

“We feel if you have strong faith in Jesus and God, you’ll get this,” Kirk Raymond said.

The say their faith cured their cat, Ajax, of lymphoma. Two years ago, Ajax had hard nodules on his spleen and the vets wanted to do exploratory surgery for cancer. The Raymonds decided to take a different approach.

“I have a real strong personal relationship with God,” Chris Raymond said. “We held hands and prayed to God to save him.”

Ajax is the picture of health today and received no other intervention.

Potential customers have suggested that Kirk Raymond pose pets in fields of flowers or other nonreligious settings, but then it would be just another picture, he said.

Most people want their pets with Jesus, doves or clouds with radiant light, the Raymonds said. An 80-year-old pet owner told them she cried when she got her photo, but then a peace came over her.

You may be wondering about the Raymonds’ menagerie, which is formidable. They have a rat terrier, Mackie, who thinks she rules the roost, and two other felines, who really hold the keys to the kingdom. Copycat is a snow leopard; and Farrell, an orange and white. Ajax is a marble Bengal.

They all go outside to play in a safe enclosure but somehow manage to drag the strangest things inside.

Among them, a two-foot garter snake, chipmunks, mice, beetles, moths and frogs.

“I found not a baby but a teenage possum in the bathroom,” Chris Raymond said.

Such are the joys of pet ownership.

On every side I see your trace;
Your water trough’s scarce dry;
Your empty collar in its place
Provokes the heavy sigh.

And you were here two days ago.
There’s little changed, I see.
The sun is just as bright, but oh!
The difference to me!

The very print of your small pad
Is on the whitened stone.
Where, by what ways, or sad or glad,
Do you fare on alone?

Oh, little face, so merry-wise,
Brisk feet and eager bark!
The house is lonesome for your eyes,
My spirit somewhat dark.

Now, small, invincible friend, your love
Is done, your fighting o’er,
No more your wandering feet will rove
Beyond your own house-door.

The cats that feared, their hearts are high,
The dogs that loved will gaze
Long, long ere you come passing by
With all your jovial ways.

The accursed archer who has sent
His arrow all too true,
Would that his evil days were spent
Ere he took aim at you!

Your honest face, your winsome ways
Haunt me, dear little ghost,
And everywhere I see your trace,
Oh, well-beloved and lost!

The Great News: We’ve reincarnated The Book of My Pet online! Now you can get versions in -
1. WORD, so you can type your answers–long or short–on the computer, delete questions you don’t want to answer and add others you do, insert photos or do whatever else you like to do it Word.

or

2. PDF, so you can print the pages on paper you like, write your answers in your own glorious handwriting, keep our nice page layout and make a scrapbook out of it.

Take a look -  The Book of My Pet: http://thelifeofmydog.com\lifeofmydog.html