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Funny Dogs

QUESTIONS DOGS ASK GOD:

Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God:
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God:
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I  know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God:
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God:
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?

Dear God:
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God:
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can’t make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?

(Unfortunately I don’t know who to credit for these gems - they were passed along to me with no author cited.)

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My sister-in-law lost her best friend this week. She wrote this touching tribute.

A Tribute to Shaman

Shaman, my beloved friend and soul-mate, your passing from the earth has left a huge hole in my heart; a heart that you helped to grow. Your love was so great; I am not sure how I am going to fill this hole in my being. You brought so much light and joy to the human race – your giving was impeccable, you existed so others may live with more wholeness and balance. You embodied the three components to happiness and fulfillment: will, love and wisdom. Your will was strong. Your confidence, stubbornness and drive gave you many opportunities to explore the world. Your unconditional love and compassion brought joy and hope to so many people young and old. Your wisdom and insight into people and other dogs was extraordinary knowing when and what they needed the most.

You were the grand dam of our household until your last day. You were alpha with kindness and style and were always reasonable. You were my teacher, the silent warrior who taught me so much about life. There are so many other things to say about you: your total trust of me, your willingness to try anything as long as it was with me, your love of travel and meeting new people. You brought me out of my reclusive shell and inspired my own heart to shine. Your great love for playing, wrestling, and tugging and fetching your pink football. Your EED (eternal eating disorder) was always a challenge to keep you fit but I sure did love to feed you and you sure loved to eat. I will especially miss our acupressure sessions where I would rub your spine and stretch your legs.

I believe that our spirits are eternal and that we come back again and again to join in the dance of matter and spirit. I know we have been friends before and I want to be your “best friend ever” again. Please come back to me. I will cherish our memories and keep remembering that you are always with me, no matter what form that takes. I love you and always will.

Goodbye my dear friend until next time…may you forever eat, play and love.

- Kathy, January 2008

Shaman’s Song

Shaman my friend, my reflection
She senses on four legs what I cannot
She finds reasons to love, in the smallest ways
She finds reasons to love, in the greatest way.

And her knowing is simple and deep
And her knowing is simple and deep

She has no conditions save for me
Her heart is pure and her mind is clean
And I wish I could sow what she reaps.

What if more two leggeds were like her?
Think of what the world could be

What if more two leggeds were like my four legged friend?
The world would be better in the end
Yes the world would be better in the end.

Shaman my friend, my reflection
She senses on four legs what I cannot
She finds reasons to love, in the smallest ways
She finds reasons to love, in the greatest way.
Shaman, my friend.

Written June 2008 @ By Kathy Marshall

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For Pampered Pets

As the owner of a working breed dog, albeit one who is currently unemployed, these shops (below) seem pretty ridiculous. My border collie feels pampered when I pour the leftover water I used to boil green beans into his bowl. He sleeps inside, but not on my bed. And he will never, ever wear a raincoat.

But in a spirit of generosity, I offer these links for people with a different kind of relationship with their dogs. Or for people like me who just find the whole thing amusing:

Glamour Dog http://www.glamourdog.com/

Trendy Puppy http://www.trendypuppy.com/

The Pampered Pet http://www.thepamperedpup.com/

Doggie Designer http://www.doggiedesigner.com/

Poochie Heaven http://www.poochieheaven.com/index.php

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This is from All Things Considered, National Public Radio, October 16, 2007:

In a quest to discover the 2008 election’s version of “Soccer Moms” and “NASCAR Dads,” NPR contributor Mo Rocca recently took his microphone to the streets of Philadelphia, the city of Founding Father Benjamin Franklin — as well as underdog hero Rocky Balboa.

Rocca talks with Michele Norris about what he found, and we hear from a number of people in potentially desirable demographics.

In addition to a liberty lover and a bike-riding grandmother, Rocca spoke to two other Philadelphians: Trekkie Randy Randalls and dogwalker Charlotte Fairman, as well as hockey nut Steve Solvarian of Vorhees, N.J.

Rocca caught up with Randalls on a city sidewalk, where the two discussed the upcoming race and its potential impact on Philadelphia.

“You’re a moderate Trekkie?” Rocca asked.

“Exactly.”

That brought this follow-up: “Now, what issues are important to moderate Trekkies?”

And this rejoinder: “Uh, getting out of Iraq, and health care.”

***
The piece continues. Could we dog walkers become an effective voting block? What would our issues be? Which candidates would court us? And would they kiss our adorable pooches?

Listen to the whole segment at:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=15337090

Kate
www.marshallbooks.net

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How smart is your dog?

According to S. Coren, author of “The Intelligence of Dogs”, there are three types of dog intelligence:

Adaptive Intelligence (learning and problem-solving ability). This is specific to the individual animal and is measured by canine IQ tests.
Instinctive Intelligence. This is specific to the individual animal and is measured by canine IQ tests.
Working/Obedience Intelligence. This is breed dependent.
Continue Reading »

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